Week 1481 - Bappa's Naughty List for Badly Behaved Devotees

Ganesha is "Vighnaharta", the remover of obstacles. We pray to him and worship him with the hope that he will make our lives easier and remove whatever obstacles come our way, whether job or money related or related to health, relationships, children or perhaps even the state of the world.

Yet many of these enthusiastic devotees think nothing of creating "vighna" for others. If Bappa were to see what they were doing, this is how he would bless them.

5. The Selfie Queens and Kings Who Block Other People's Darshan

Every photo you take till next Ganesh Chaturthi will have Bappa's trunk across the middle of the photo or your face. The more you scrub a photo, or use a filter, the more Mushak will fill it.

4. The Plaster-of-Paris Enthusiast

After you immerse your idol, it will refuse to dissolve and like a faithful pet will find its way back to you or your group, till the next year. It won't be "pudhchya varshi lavkar ya", but "roj roj ya" until, frustrated, you beseech Bappa with folded hands, "Bappa, aata pudhchya varshich ya... please."

3. The Honkers Outside Pandals

Your car will play "Sukhkarta Dukhharta" at full volume for a full 30 seconds each time you press the horn. It will stop only if you don't honk for at least 2 days in a row, and then too it will come back if you honk more than once a day.

2. The VIP Darshan Line-Cutter

Each night you will wake up drenched in sweat with only one nightmare. You are at the back of the Lalbaugcha Raja line, it moves one step an hour and when you reach the front after 48 hours, another group with VIP passes is allowed to go before you and then you suddenly find yourself at the back of the line, starting again. You never actually get any darshan that year.

1. The Dhol Noise Makers on a Day When No One Else Is Doing Visarjan

Each time you lie down for a nap, a loud dhol will play in your ear that only you can hear. You and your doctor will label it tinnitus; Bappa will say, "Karma."

Ganpati Bappa Morya. Maybe quieter and better behaved next year?

Related Post: The Search for the Nishkama Bhakt - A Modern Fable - 1482 - Your VIP is not my VIP

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